MICHAEL LITWACK
Michael Litwack was born in 1979 and had an ordinary childhood until the age of 10. His parents noticed that there was something special about Michael as he wet his bed continuously. When asked about these repeat accidents. Michael revealed that they were the by product of visions he had every night. After years of psychological counseling and professional help, Michael has come to realize that he is the reincarnation of one Silphod Potter a simple painter born in Germany in 1735. Silphod was a young boy who led quite an unremarkable childhood until he too started having visions. Eventually Silphod drowned trying to save a young boy who had fallen into a lake. The young boy turned out to be a duck and Silphod couldn't swim.
Michael has taken the strengths of both this life and his previous one to model a dynamic re-imagining of the nature of the web. Michael feels dissatisfied with the current "rational" flow of logic that persists online and seeks to reinterpret it in a metaphysical sense. Prior to any postings on the web, Michael fasts and sleeps in a coffin overnight. It is by this deprivation of soul, that Michael comes to his brilliant hypothesis and musings.
Michael enjoys meditation and existential yoga in his spare time. He also enjoys bicycling naked and fencing with his pet gerbil. Michael also enjoys eating goldfish which he proudly raises at home and hopes to soon publish his book, 100 ways to eat a goldfish alive.
Motto: Don't listen to what people say is "normal."
NOAM LITWACK
Noam Litwack's storied background is quite complex and would take far too long to properly elucidate. However, the following brief synopsis may or may not satisfy your curiosity:
Born in Dayton, Ohio and raised in Cleveland, Noam grew up dreaming big dreams. The first of which, entailed overcoming the lowest IQ score ever recorded in the history of Ohio. Concerned relatives decided a change of scenery might help little Noam, so the family picked up and moved to Washington DC. Amazingly and quite inexplicably, Noam's IQ score skyrocketed to an astonishing 158. Noam decided that the number 158 was special, seeking to make this number a code to live by. Thus, Noam refused to allow more than 158 friends into his life at any given time. He also sets one separate alarm clock to 1:58 AM, as a daily reminder to ponder the meaning of life. It is not advised to mess with Noam's "158 System." A former friend of the elite 158 once thought it would be funny to set Noam's alarm clock to 1:59 AM. That friend is now on the outside looking in and admittedly regrets missing the glow and warmth of Noam's genius lifestyle.
After a series of unsatisfying career paths, Noam decided it was his duty to pursue and fix the comedic flaws of the Net. Thus, along with the help of his brother, Michael, he set upon a course to cure the world of this disease.
Noam understands the meaning of hard work. He wakes up everyday, yes... waking up is hard to do. After he wakes up, he thinks of ways to clean up the world or at the very least his stomach lint.
Motto: Change what you can and when you can change no more, go back to sleep.
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